Funny Quotes on Trying Again Reddit
You lot know how the saying goes: Laughter is the best medicine. And there'due south so much truth to that former adage. If you're having a bad twenty-four hour period, or if someone y'all love needs a little auspicious upward, humor can aid ease the tension and create a piffling pocket of joy amid life's stresses.
This collection of funny quotes provides an array of means to trigger that smiling and plow around someone's lousy mood. (Even if that someone is you!) We've got funny quotes about beloved, marriage, aging, parenting, then many more than relatable topics. Catch your favorites for greeting cards, social media captions, or fifty-fifty merely to print and hang to a higher place your desk to serve as a little reminder that life's not that serious — and we're all much better off laughing so we don't cry!
These funny quotes come from famous comedians like Betty White, Joan Rivers, Lucille Ball, and Phyllis Diller. You'll too find laugh-out-loud quotes from your favorite timeless sitcoms like The Office, and funny-but-oh-so-wise movies like Steel Magnolias. Then savor our list and bookmark it to come back to someday you demand a laugh.
Looking for more inspiration? Check out these poignant quotes for women and inspirational quotes about life.
Funny Quotes About Life
ane. "Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my mottos."
—Stanley Hudson, The Function
2. "There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me upwardly to see it."
―Mindy Kaling
3. "I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add together information technology to the food."
—Westward.C. Fields
4. "People say money is not the primal to happiness, but I have ever figured if you lot have plenty coin, you tin accept a key made."
—Joan Rivers
5. "Practise non take life as well seriously. You lot volition never become out of it alive."
—Elbert Hubbard
6. "I generally avoid temptation unless I tin can't resist it."
―Mae West
7. "Sometimes you prevarication in bed at night and y'all don't have a unmarried thing to worry about. That always worries me!"
—Charlie Chocolate-brown
8. "The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true."
—James Branch Cabell
9. "I'one thousand killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness."
―Bill Watterson
x. "You only live once, but if you lot do it right, one time is enough."
―Mae W
eleven. "If at showtime you don't succeed, attempt, attempt again. Then quit. No utilize being a damn fool near it."
―Westward.C. Fields
12. "I love mankind... it's people I tin can't stand up!!"
― Charles M. Schulz
13. "I think God, in creating homo, somewhat overestimated his power."
―Oscar Wilde
14. "Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they dear me."
—Michael Scott, The Function
xv. "Two things are infinite: the universe and human being stupidity. And I'm not certain about the universe."
―Albert Einstein
16. "When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye."
―Cathy Guisewite
17. "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. Information technology'due south the transition that's troublesome."
―Isaac Asimov
18. "When I was growing upward I e'er wanted to exist someone. Now I realize I should have been more than specific."
—Lily Tomlin
19. "I take a lot of growing upwardly to practice. I realized that the other twenty-four hours inside my fort."
—Zach Galifianakis
20. "I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've e'er wanted."
—Kevin Malone, The Part
21. "Whenever I'chiliad about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do not do that affair."
—Dwight Schrute, The Office
22. "Never put off till tomorrow what you tin do the day afterward tomorrow just as well."
—Marker Twain
23. "I'm non crazy — I've but been in a very bad mood for twoscore years."
—Ouiser Boudreaux, Steel Magnolias
Funny Quotes for Friends
24. "Well, you know what they say: If you lot don't have anything nice to say virtually anybody, come sit down past me."
—Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias
25. "A woman is like a tea bag: Y'all can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."
—Eleanor Roosevelt
26. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, just what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks downwards."
—Oprah Winfrey
27. "Whatever women do they must practice twice as well as men to be thought one-half as adept. Luckily, this is not difficult."
—Charlotte Whitton
28. "I drink to brand other people more interesting."
—Ernest Hemingway
29. "Wine is constant proof that God loves usa and loves to see us happy."
—Benjamin Franklin
xxx. "When yous're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend volition be in the cell next to you maxim, 'Damn, that was fun.'"
―Groucho Marx
31. "I'1000 not offended by blonde jokes because I know I'm not impaired. And I also know that I'one thousand not blonde."
—Dolly Parton
32. "I like my money where I can run across it: hanging in my cupboard."
—Carrie Bradshaw, Sex activity and the City
33. "Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping."
—Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls
34. "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every 4 Americans is suffering from some course of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're OK, and so it'south you." —Rita Mae Brown
35. "My friends tell me I take an intimacy trouble. But they don't really know me."
—Garry Shandling
36. "People waste their time pondering whether a glass is one-half empty or half full. Me, I simply drink whatever'south in the glass."
—Sophia Petrillo, The Gold Girls
37. "I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat."
—Pam Beesly, The Office
38. "Don't waste material so much time thinking about how much you counterbalance. There is no more mind-numbing, boring, idiotic, self-destructive diversion from the fun of living."
—Meryl Streep
39. "Even I don't wake upwards looking like Cindy Crawford."
—Cindy Crawford
40. "I don't trust anyone who does their ain hair. I don't call up information technology's natural."
—Truvy Jones, Steel Magnolias
Funny Quotes About Aging
41. "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and prevarication virtually your historic period."
—Lucille Ball
42. "Honey, time marches on and eventually y'all realize information technology is marchin' across your face."
—Truvy Jones, Steel Magnolias
43. "Yous know yous've reached middle historic period when you lot're cautioned to slow down past your doctor, instead of by the police force."
—Joan Rivers
44. "People say, 'How you stay looking so young?' I say, well, good lighting, good doctors, and good makeup."
—Dolly Parton
45. "Look, yous didn't ask me for my stance, just I'm old, so I'g giving it anyway."
—Sophia Petrillo, The Gilt Girls
46. "No thing how bad things get, recall these sage words: You're one-time, you lot sag, get over it."
—Sophia Petrillo, The Gilded Girls
47. "Y'all know y'all're getting old when y'all stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you lot could do while you're downward in that location." —George Burns
48. "Historic period is something that doesn't matter unless you are a cheese."
—Luis Buñuel
49. "Equally you get older, 3 things happen. The offset is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two."
—Sir Norman Wisdom
Funny Quotes About Marriage
50. "Before you marry a person, you should start make them use a figurer with slow Net service to run across who they really are."
—Will Ferrell
51. "Women marry men hoping they volition change. Men marry women hoping they will non. So each is inevitably disappointed."
—Albert Einstein
52. "I dearest y'all no matter what you do, simply practice you take to do and then much of it?"
—Jean Illsley Clarke
53. "Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener."
—Pauline Thomason
54. "Never get to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
―Phyllis Diller
55. "The undercover to a long wedlock is to stay gone."
—Dolly Parton
56. "The best way to get most husbands to exercise something is to advise that mayhap they're too old to do it."
—Shirley MacLaine
57. "As a man in a relationship, y'all have a simple pick. You tin can either exist right, or y'all can be happy."
—Ralphie May
58. "Behind every cracking man is a adult female rolling her optics."
—Jim Carrey
Brusk Funny Quotes
59. "The but thing worse than being talked about is non being talked well-nigh."
—Oscar Wilde
60. "The older you become, the better you get. Unless you lot're a assistant."
—Betty White
61. "If you can't be kind, at least be vague."
—Judith Martin
62. "Anybody who tells yous money can't buy happiness never had any."
—Samuel L. Jackson
63. "Reality continues to ruin my life."
―Bill Watterson
64. "Don't exist so humble — you are not that bully."
―Golda Meir
65. "Never miss a proficient take chances to shut up."
―Volition Rogers
66. "I've had neat success existence a total idiot. "
―Jerry Lewis
67. "Do things that brand you happy within the confines of the legal system."
―Ellen DeGeneres
68. "Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company."
—Mark Twain
69. "Instant gratification takes also long."
—Carrie Fisher
70. "Don't go around proverb the earth owes you a living. The world owes you zilch. It was here first."
—Marking Twain
71. "My tastes are simple: I am hands satisfied with the all-time."
―Winston Southward. Churchill
72. "All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening."
—Alexander Woollcott
73. "Whoever established the high road and how loftier information technology should be should be fired."
—Sandra Bullock
Clever Quotes and Sayings
74. "Be wise, because the world needs wisdom. If you cannot exist wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and and so but behave like they would."
—Neil Gaiman
75. "Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else's path unless yous're in the forest and you're lost and you see a path and then by all ways you should follow that."
—Ellen DeGeneres
76. "People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."
—Isaac Asimov
77. "A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is every bit nasty every bit himself, and hates them for it."
―George Bernard Shaw
78. "Coin tin can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big plenty to pull up right aslope information technology."
—David Lee Roth
79. "The lord gave the states two ends: I to sit down on and the other to retrieve with. Success depends on which i nosotros use the almost."
—Ann Landers
Funny Quotes About Parenting
80. "When my kids get wild and unruly, I utilize a prissy, prophylactic playpen. When they're finished, I climb out."
—Erma Bombeck
81. "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I desire to move in with them."
—Phyllis Diller
82. "Cleaning your house while your kids are withal growing is like shoveling the walk earlier it stops snowing."
—Phyllis Diller
83. "It is not easy beingness a mother. If information technology were like shooting fish in a barrel, fathers would do it."
—Dorothy Zbornak, The Gilded Girls
84. "Adults are e'er asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas."
—Paula Poundstone
85. "If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them."
—Reese Witherspoon
86. "At that place is no such thing as fun for the whole family unit." —Jerry Seinfeld
87. "Everybody wants to save the earth. No one wants to help mom do the dishes."
—P.J. O'Rourke
Funny Quotes Virtually Work
88. "Everything I have I owe to this chore... this stupid, wonderful, ho-hum, amazing task."
—Jim Halpert, The Role
89. "An office is a place to alive life to the fullest, to the max. An office is a place where dreams come true."
—Michael Scott, The Office
xc. "And so this is my life — until I win the lottery."
—Jim Halpert, The Office
91. "The all-time manner to appreciate your task is to imagine yourself without 1."
—Oscar Wilde
92. "Housework tin't kill yous, but why take the risk?"
—Phyllis Diller
93. "I hate housework. You make the beds, you launder the dishes and 6 months later you take to outset all over again."
—Joan Rivers
94. "I similar work. It fascinates me. I tin can sit and look at it for hours."
―Jerome K. Jerome
95. "I always arrive late at the role, just I make up for it by leaving early."
―Charles Lamb
96. "Housekeeping is similar being defenseless in a revolving door."
—Marcelene Cox
97. "The but thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen."
—Sarah Brown
98. "You can't have a meg-dollar dream with a minimum-wage worth ethic."
—Zig Ziglar
99. "All you demand in this life is ignorance and confidence — then success is certain."
—Marker Twain
100. "Even if you are on the correct rails, you will get run over if you just sit there."
—Volition Rogers
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